I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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