Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
