I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
