She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize