His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
