In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize