Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
