Are we in a gay sports bar?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize