I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
