I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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