after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
