I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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