So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
