My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
