He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
