Only a mothe r could love this liver
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
