i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
