White coat. Heels.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
