he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
