i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
being pregnant is like rehab
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
