problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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