She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
