Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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