sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
