this beer tastes like vomit already
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
