you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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