How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think a kid would responsible me up
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
