I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
