Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
