we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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