I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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