Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
