It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
