I'm so fucking centered right now
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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