next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
