i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
