he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
