I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
