Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
