my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
