was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
