I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
