How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
