I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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