We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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