then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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