I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
