i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
