I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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