I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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