We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
