yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i believe in u and ur pee
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
