i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
