there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She needs sedatives and a leash
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
