Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
