I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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