I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
